After the shock
After the shock I began to sit back and think about what I was going to do. I felt frightened and uncertain of my future on all fronts. At home with my family, with friends and at work One problem resolved itself - I was made redundant.
I decided to apply for part time work and let everyone know of my disability. I applied for about 20 jobs and got offered 2 interviews of which I got one job 16 hours a week This really helped as I had time to manage my MS a bit better. But was worrying from a financial point of view. Luckily we were used to managing on little so coped reasonably well. But a lot of our plans and ideas for the future were not going to happen which was really depressing and saddening at the time.

Fear of the unknown
One of the worst things for me which I still find relatively difficult to deal with is the changeable nature of MS. When I was diagnosed with Relapse Remitting MS, I asked my consultant what that meant? He described it as periods when the MS was bad and periods of remission which I wrongly assumed meant a total remission. What really happens (for me anyway) is you have high level pain and low level pain. But very rarely no pain at all.

Inadequate feelings
Some of these feelings are due to me being the go getter of the family and having control which I still am but to a much lesser extent.
I very often have feelings of inadaquacy, there are so many situations almost daily when I wish I didn't have the MS. Here are some examples that I'm sure you can identify with-

Going shopping and having to leave early and sit in the car - while your partner does the rest.

Go out on day trips with your children - some days you cant

Take the dog for walks - you can't go for as long or at all.

Going on holiday - maybe you can't you afford to

Your children would like to be picked up and carried - you can't

Your partner carries everything - you can't

Negotiating a narrow path between people and bumping into them - you lose co-ordiantion skills in this situation

Another problem is when you pass people in the street, they have no idea that you have MS. If you are struggling to walk or feeling dizzy it's not obvious to the public.